Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
