when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
