if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
