Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
