The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize