Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
