My first STD was from a foam party
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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