I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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