I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just had sex bonerless
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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