Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
