Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
