I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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