Cold hands, warm shart.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
