on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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