It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
