I cockslap morals
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
