I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
