I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
