don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
