my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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