As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
