Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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