I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
