Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
