i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize