Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
