Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
