is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize