Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
