I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You took a bar mat shot.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
