I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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