the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're a disaster
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