plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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