she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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