Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
