I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
