dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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