Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
