he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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