you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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