Just fell off a train. Bad.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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