ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
