You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
