Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
