You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
