we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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