the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
