Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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