Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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