had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize