if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
operation harelip BJ is a go
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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