i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
