Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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